A Surprise Apology

Today, someone apologised to me for being a 'hypocrite' and a 'bad friend'. I was not confused. I knew that I have been backstabbed by so many. Too many. But I decided to just let it go.

Why?

Because I'm married.

I have so much in my life as it is, that I don't need to add the burden of caring about others. Others don't affect my life. They do not make me lose followers. They do not make me lose modelling or blogging jobs. They do not make me lose my internship. They do not make me lose my scholarship. They do not make me lose my husband. Or family. They really don't affect my life.

But I feel so sad. So broken. Because this person is supposed to be a friend.

Friend?

I have a lot of friends. But since my wedding, I realised about who I can trust and who I cannot.

But still. I'm sad.

Vote For Me: House of Shakilla Model Search

House of Shakilla is an online multi brand fashion store for both Malaysia & Indonesia, soon to launch their own physical boutique in Malaysia. They are conducting a Model Search, and praise the Almighty, I made it to the Top 5 Finalists! I'm super excited and nervous at the same time!

But here's the catch:

In order to be the face of House of Shakilla, I need your votes. So please vote for me by following the steps below:

Through INSTAGRAM:

1) Go to @hoshakilla

2) Like my photo:

Through FACEBOOK:

1) Go to House of Shakilla FB Page

2) Like my photo.

>Click here to go straight to the photo<

If you have both social media I would very much appreciate it if you would take a few seconds of your time to vote for me on both Instagram and Facebook.

Gah! I'm so nervous and excited at the same time! Thank you for your votes and for helping me make my dream come true!

xoxo,

sya.

I have yet to break down and cry.

Dia kata my marriage is a joke?

You're a joke. You're 30 and you are not married.

What do you know about marriage?

What hurts me is not that some person, a nobody, said that my marriage is a joke.

It's a person who went to all three of the wedding events.

Which means what?

You figure it out.

I'm just gonna shut the door and cry.

"Say Something. I'm Giving Up on You."

Do you remember?

That moment.

When you are just standing there.

Waiting.

For him/her to just say something.

Anything.

To stop you from walking away.
To give you something to hold on to.
To allow you to hope.

And he/she doesn't.

And you're no longer sure who walked away.
Because even if you did,
it doesn't feel like it was you.
Because you're shattered.
And it's nothing that you would've done.
To break your own heart.
It doesn't even make sense.

And that's it.

All because you stood there.
Face to face.

"Say something!"
You yell in your head.

But they never do.

#syadhilwedding

It's been...3 weeks since we got married!

I am now Mrs Raja Nadhil Aqran.

Married at 20.

Can't believe it myself.

And this time, I guess I'll share some wedding details. BUT you have to wait till the official photographers hand over the photos.

Till then, you can just check out #syadhil or #syadhilwedding on Instagram & other social medias.

And Penny Qi posted a bit on her blog. 

And now, for an original Sya kind of post.

"How do you feel?"

They've asked me time and time again. And I have no answer. None. Zilch. Nada. Zero.

How do I feel? Do I even feel anything? Trololol. Of course I don't. I'm a robot.

Haih.

But seriously.

Let me just say this:

There are dreams that continue to be just that. Dreams. And there are dreams that come true.

While everyone was busy with New Year, I have #syadhilcountdown .

FINALS.

WEDDING.

INTERNSHIP.

Three major things in my life.

And I can balance NOTHING.

And my New Year starts either this Saturday when exam ends.

Or next Saturday.

When I am married.

MARRIED.

AT 20?

Yes. I'm caps-locking everything that is just screaming in my head.

I don't know lah. It's like, everything's just coming up to me at once. Finals are not easy and look at me now. I'm writing on my blog instead of studying. My internship is a 4 year contract. And I haven't even filed in enough hours for the first year. And I got a notice to work during the holidays. Except, I'm getting married. Which I've told them since the beginning of the semester. But obviously, it never registered in their heads. Now I'm in hot soup. What the......

And then, there's the wedding. Which is causing all the mishaps. It's taking so much space in my brain. My brain cells are dying.

9 days to go.