And the eyes that penetrate through, with a whisper of hope in the wind, all the tears are given true (repost)

What does that even mean?
I wrote this sometime in addmaths back in MRSM Taiping. Now, I have no idea what it means! Does it even have a meaning?

You know, I scribble in text books and on paper that are slipped in the text books that when I open them after months...or years...I will suddenly recall the memories...but sometimes, I have no clue on what I wrote... It makes no sense...

Seeing this, I wondered if I have lost my mind somewhere in time. Then, out of the blue, BAM!, I understood. It only took a picture. One F***ing picture was like a PANG!

-I miss him. I miss her. I miss them. I miss you. I miss it.-

That's what I recall now. It means that when you look into someones eyes and you feel like you can actually see them and understand them, then the tears he/she/you shed is true...in a sense that it is what you feel and not just an act.

I got so frustrated at the fact that the people I miss...it's like they don't miss me back. It's not sad...It is UNBEARABLE!

Why? Why is it when you do give yourself to someone...whether a lover, a friend or family, they always let you down?

I took this personality test thingy, and I was said to be a pusher. No, I don't push people into something...I push people away. If they get too close, and start to understand me *or something like that* I push them away. I am a loner.

At first, it sounded like CRAP! But it started to sink in...and it is true. Shaik once had a conversation with me.

Me: But it's not enough.
Shaik: Or is it?

If you are confused, I'm not going to explain it because it's a 'in the moment' kind of thing. But it got me wondering...who was it, really, that didn't try?

10/19/09