Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Maafkanlah ku tak bisa hidup tanpa kamu.

I don't know what to say.

I don't know how to tell you.

"I can't suddenly tell you
all the things I should tell you -"

But I can tell you this.

Whether we break up or make up or break up then make up, you should know that it's not about mistakes. It's not me walking out on you, you walking out on me. It's not me leaving you for someone else or you hating me. It's about space. And time. And what's right and what's wrong. What should happen, could happen, might happen.

You said so yourself, "Kalau ada jodoh tak ke mana." If it's meant to be, no matter how far we drift apart, we will find each other once more.

But you don't believe it do you?

"If you love something, set it free. If it's meant to be, it'll come back to you."

I don't know how to tell you.

I don't know what to say.

But I can tell you this.

It's not about letting go. Or letting loose. Or leaving. Or waiting.

It's about changing. Everything changes. EVERYTHING changes. Our goals. Purpose. Dreams. Wishes. Hopes.

We've changed.

What we were all about.

So what are we all about?

"I thought I understood it.

...But I didn't. Not really.

Only the smudge-ness of it. The eagerness of it. The idea of it.

Of you and me."

Monday, February 27, 2012

Somebody that I used to know.

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and I feel so rough
And you didn't have to stoop so low.

But I'll admit that I was glad it was over.

But I can't believe you shut me out like that. You knew how I was. How I still am. And that hurt. It hurts. You wonder how I look now. Here's a clue.

I've changed.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Happy Birthday, My Darling!

Happy Birthday, Raja Nadhil Aqran!
So make 19 wishes, on 19 candles, on the 19th of February. And may all your wishes come true.
I pray that every second of every minute of every hour of everyday would be a joyful one.
May Allah bless your life, and grant you a long one. Insya-Allah.

I love you.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

And he creeps from behind and put his arms around my waist.

Watching the sunrise, brightening up your well lit face,
The smile, carved upon your pink lips,
Your soft touches on my bare skin,
Your eyes, reaching to my deepest soul where one have never reached.

Good morning, my darling. Good morning.
For it is a morning that is good.
To open my eyes to the sight of you. Oh, how I yearn for you.
And all the dreams that come with <3

Thursday, February 9, 2012

The ones that love you, end up hating you.

The ones that promised they'd stay...
...end up leaving you.

True fact of life.

Deal with it.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Liar. Liar. Pants on fire. Put fire to the rock. I throw it back in your face.


We're talking again. But I cannot tell you that it's gonna be the same. It's no longer safe. You watch your back. I watch mine. I am afraid. Of risking my heart again. of risking watching ahead only to realize that there's a dagger from behind.


She asked me if I knew
Of what lies deep in your heart

How was I to tell her
It was right there in her eyes

She asked me all these questions
Of what no one understood

Which part should I tell her
Out of everything I knew

She asked me if I could
Reveal to her the truth

In her eyes
I made an angel
Out of the devil in you

The one that she is asking do not hold the key but how was she to see the answer was right there in her eyes.


I don't just want us to be okay. I need us to be okay. I don't want to feel like everything I do is wrong. Like all I do is push you away. You say you're here to stay. Are you?

I am.