Monday, January 30, 2012

I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to be reason why every time I walk out the door I see you die a little more inside.

It's getting more and more complicated.

Take a dagger in the back. Put that dagger in my heart.

You called me a bitch.


It's different. The empowering waves.
They say it's never simple never easy.
Never a clean break.
No one here to save me.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

BFF: Best Friends FuckYou

I have a theory.

That sometimes, the people that are always around you, whom you call your ‘friends’, are not your friends.

Just think.

How did you come together?

You met talked and there was an instant connection.

Have you ever thought that the only connection you made was really, that all of you had nobody? So you cling to the nearest object a.k.a. person to you as if you cannot live without them.

Here’s a fact: At that particular moment, you can’t.

But only then.

What happens later is a series of fortunate or unfortunate events, where you grow either together or further apart then you originally were.

But here’s another question: What makes a friend?

Honestly? I thought I knew. But right at this moment, I feel like I don’t know shit.

You’d think you know someone, well enough, I might add. But the reality is, you never do.

Monday, January 16, 2012


Awak faham kan?

Saja buat macam tak.

Tapi kenapa?

Adakah lebih menenangkan atau memuaskan atau hilang perasaan yang tak enak tu kalau terus-menerus membiarkan tangisan Sya mengalir? Kalau ya, teruskanlah. Sya rela.

Sya taknak kehilangan kawan.

Tapi kalau kehadiran Sya membuat awak tak keruan. Takpelah. Sya pergi.

Sya penat main tarik tali. Sebab tak ke mana. Sini tarik. Sana tarik balik. Sana tarik. Sini tarik balik. Silap haribulan, terputus tak kembali.

Kalau melepaskan tali tu lebih melegakan, lepaslah.

Sebab kadang-kadang, manusia tak puas dengan apa yang ada. Sentiasa cuba untuk mencapai lebih. Jadi, cuba lah ke jalan yang lebih baik. Sya doakan awak sentiasa.

Friday, January 13, 2012

You should know this.

One week of a bumpy road. Literally? Haha.

We did casual. Then, we went for spontaneous. And amazing. And wonderful. And perfect. Then, we just hung out with our friends.
It was the perfect night.

Then, we did drama. Ended up closer.

After, we did being there for each other. And your mum. And your house. And your friends. And getting lost on the road due to my idiotic navigator. And your car. And my sis. And mcD.

We're so comfortable with each other. Half and half.

Casual yet serious.

Thanks for a fairytale come true.


You don't want to know because you don't care.

Let there be fire.
It's better than nothing.
Let there be hurricanes and storms.
Rather than silent drips.
Of the sand.
Like an explosion.
It's unfortunate attempts of duiffusion.
Wrong cut.
Tick. Tick. Boom.
And comes the empowering waves.
An ochestra.
It's better than silence.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Friday, January 6, 2012

Methods of self torture that are super affective:

1. Stalk current BF/GF until you find every little bit of their past. (Especially of them and their ex.)

2. Stalk ex who's now happily over you. (Especially of them and their latest BF/GF)

3. Stalk crush who doesn't know your existence. (Especially of them happy with someone else.)

4. Stalk crush who knows your existence but only sees you as a friend. (Especially of them happy with someone else.)

5. Stalk crush who loves you too when one of you is not available. (Especially when you are no longer talking to the person.)

Untuk pertama kalinya...

Sya pakai tudung keluar dengan Dee.

Ada orang tu pernah cakap kat Sya, kalau dia kawan yang baik, dia tak akan judge kita.


Dia tak judge Sya.

Dia still anggap Sya orang yang sama.

Sya yang silap sebab selalu takut.

And from this point, I don't want to be the perfect girl in anyone's eyes except Allah SWT.


Thursday, January 5, 2012

If ever our paths cross again: AWKWARD SITUATIONS.

"He has friends??!!"
...He was my best friend. His girlfriend hated me. He had a crush on me. He ruined my chance of ever being with his guy best friend.
*But now he is one of Malaysia's top 30 students and barely has a social life.

"He's such a snob. He thinks he rules the world or something. As if the world revolves around him."
...I. Used. him...and he's very caring...towards me.

"You're friends with her? HOMAIGAWD! What a small world! She's one of my closest friends. She's so cool!"
...Bitch stole my ex. She should die.

"*Insert name of the 'He' in #2* and *Insert name of the 'She' in #3* are best friends."
...She likes my leftovers, doesn't she? I didn't finish my sandwich. Think she's gonna want that too? Heh.

"You're his friend, right?"
"How come? He's a cool guy, I promise you. I like him."
...I'm his girlfriend.


Sunday, January 1, 2012

A New Year has come.


Seriously. Just KILL me.


I went back to pre-school. Teaching 3-5years old children.



I moved on.
It got better.


I had the worst start to my year. Horrible.

So horrible.

Then, it got better.

It got so much better.

And this is how I live now.


Dear 2012, please be good to me.