Sunday, July 25, 2010

Only me. Without you.

She will laugh at your jokes, give you her secret smile, be with you till the end. But she will never love you.

Because he never looked back to see her tears.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Frustrating, is it not? When it blows up in your face the moment you reach it...

Luqman and I exchanged love stories. Yes, stories of our parents and stories of our own.

And after awhile, I start to realise how different love and 'LOVE' are. You care about someone, you dream about someone. That's not really love.

When you fall in love, it doesn't matter who you are or who he is. It's not about anything at all. It doesn't have to be devastatingly romantic and extravagant. It's just you and him. Me and know? That kind of thing.

And so I wait...for that one true unconditional yet unbearable love that touches the soul...

I had it...didn't I? Isn't that why I can't seem to let you go no matter what?

p.s. to you know who you are, you don't love him. you don't. but I won't tell you this. you have got to see it for yourself.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

She has something that's going to blow my mind. But I got explosives!

Since I found the stash of romance novels hiding behind a row of mysteries, I have been reading like...a LOT! Even exchanged books with Dee. I am in love with love. Haha. How crazy is that?

But I'm still brutal. Without naming the three guys that appeared on my caller ID and made me laugh all day, they said somethings that are totally out of order and ungentlemanly, I choked. Talking about tackling in rugby and ones foot in someone else's face is not really the responds they were looking for. Well, I'm only reading romance novels...not living in one!

"You don't know whether something is a mistake or not until you make that mistake and look back and say, "Oh, that was the mistake." But maybe it would be an even bigger mistake not making that mistake."


"I want her to hurt. And if she's idiotic enough, she'll make a fool of herself. I don't really have to do anything. Just show him that I have moved on. Then, he will hurt and in turn, she will hurt."

"Mummy, how come you hurt him but she will hurt? "

"Because she thinks I'll hurt seeing him but being with another guy will make him hurt. And the way he will act when I am around will cause her to realise that her plan backfired. And the fact that he cares that I've moved on will make her hurt knowing that she doesn't really have him. And all my dreams come true. "

"Okay. Great plan mummy. Just take care of yourself and don't sound as evil as a witch. Haha."

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Relieve me of this dream I'm dreaming.

Even after all the wasted breath and words still not spoken,
I still love you with all my heart though it is broken. And although I said I would rather know...if you really did give up without me knowing...don't. I beg you, please. Because I am still here...

And I woke up. As the answers reveal what I was so blind to see.
Was that what I have been seeking? Was it a dream or was it a lesson?
And I wanted to reach for you...reach to you...but I can't. Because you're gone.

Eventhough I know that there will never be that one ever again but I can't help it. I can't help but to refuse seeing it whole-heartedly. To hurt, to show the hurt and to get hurt all at once. That was because when I know, I will let you go.

And now, I have to.