Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Sometimes, I wonder how you think about it now, when I see your face in every crowd...

Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes. And I keep telling myself that it's time to let go. But is it possible when I still see it all in my head. I used to torture myself every single bloody night. Replaying us over and over again. I remembered everything. The pink shirt. The VS. The TV. Us.

And now I'm supposed to just forget everything? It's bullshit.

Forgiving took me a year. Forgetting would take a lifetime.

Am I supposed to forget the thrashing out of everything to the hard wall or the bruises of the edge of the wooden bed? Am I supposed to forget the glistening reflection of the light on the shiny sharp scissors? Am I supposed to forget the pain, the cuts, the bruises?

Am I supposed to forget the point that no one could even cry out the pain?

How? How do I forget it?

How do you forget the grave that you had dug for yourself? Only to fall into a well, pulling a thousand others with you. How do you forget the betrayal that you saw coming? How do you forget the misery?

You don't. You can't. You can't forget the innocent soul lost in the middle of the game of the deceptive bastards.

Here. I admit. It was me. Who haunted my own nightmares. And yours. It was me.

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