Playing the field.

Someone once asked me:

"Hey, Sya. Don't you want to live your life before settling down? You're still young. Don't you want to go and have fun first?"

Actually, I have 'lived my life'. I've already gone and 'have fun'.

Dating? Having relationships? Friendships? All the life dramas?

What more?

Someone from another religion? Someone from another ethnic? Rich guy? Poor guy? Son of Tan Sri(s)? Son of politicians? Son of teachers? Son of... The pengkid. The lesbian. The straight. The gay. The athlete. The nerd. The smart-ass. The idiot. The funny. The serious. The nice guy. The jerk. The corny ones who sing to you off-key on your birthday. The ass who forgot your birthday. Being played. Playing.

DONE. ALL DONE.

And so, I'm done. I'm not looking for any more experiences because I've had it. I know my choices. I know.

And I've changed. Maybe a lot. Maybe a bit. But I've been through hell. I've been through those moments.

You know? Those moments that you wish were just a nightmare and that you'll wake up to find that it was all a fragment of your imagination. Only to open your eyes the next morning and realize that it's never going to go away?

Been there. Done that. Don't want to go back.

I have been through so much. So much that it's exhausting to even think about them. I just want to live my life in peace. Have a career. Have a family. Have children. Have grandchildren. And just live happily kind of ever after.

I've met some people. Lost some people.

Ultimately, life moves on. And you just have to learn from your mistakes. At least from your own mistakes, if not others as well.

I may not be old and wrinkly. But it doesn't mean I haven't lived.